BUT GOD ...
by Kara Capps
Today's been a day of being up in my head way too much, listening to the droning sound of the 'not-good-enough'...
You know the ones, don't you? MY list goes like this:
- not as organized as...
- not as calm as...
- not focused enough...
- not kind enough...
- not stylish enough...
- not enough of a mother or wife or friend...
etcetera AND ad nauseum. Been there?
My "BUT GOD" Sermon
Okay, sit here with that for a moment. "BUT GOD ..."
Don't you love that? Don't you just love that phrase, those two little words that say EVERYTHING? I can't get enough of it.
Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. BUT GOD put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
Romans 5:6-8
NASV (bold and italics mine...)
In this case of self-loathing, BUT GOD said... "You're my beloved child, and I don't like it when people talk about my kids that way ... and as you're one of them, hush and listen to Me..."
Don't think He said that to me? Check this out ...
"My grace is enough ... it's all you need.
My strength comes into it's own in your weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9
WHOA. In this case, I heard Him say, "Call a friend." So I did. Then, "pray for someone who is hurting." So I did. "Bless someone." I sure hope I did! Then, "Hey, it's okay to want to climb in a nest, just don't do it by yourself. Reach out and say it." So I did.
I told The Lord that I don't have a reason to feel off today and there is so much more pain in the lives of others who I know and love dearly than my LITTLE frustrations and that I don't understand why it's an off day when I know I'm so blessed.
He reminded me that when my children or my friends are having these kinds of feelings, I don't chastise them for it but listen and hold a hand and pray. I don't sit and tell them that their frustrations don't count because other people are so sad or grieving about more significant things.
So no, today isn't a day full of personal tragedy or grief, but it's okay to feel not quite right. And He reminded me of the list of things He'd just had me do and then said ...
"Now, do it again."
He reminded me that not too long ago I had another "solution" for uncomfortable feelings that nearly devastated everything in my life. Today He is my solution, and I'm so thankful. Even though I get to be sober today and this life experience is so beautiful, I'm not exempt, nor should I expect myself to be exempt, from having off feelings or having an internally challenging day when life circumstances look peachy keen.
As my day closes, I know that I listened to the voice of God in my heart and through the words of a friend. I prayed for someone, well...many someones, tried to be a friend, asked to look like Jesus on purpose, shared a random off day here to encourage others (and remind me again of God's grace!!) and looked for ways to be a blessing. God's blessing.
And I didn't take a drink.
And for today that is enough because God is enough. And really, isn't He where we get enough-ness? I'll bet you can think of plenty of times you needed to say, "But God ..." to put your life into perspective ... that He. Is. Truly. Enough.
Would you like to see how many times this is used in scripture? That would be a worthwhile link, wouldn't it?
Time to climb in my nest of warm covers (thank you, God) next to my sleeping husband and rest. Help. Thanks. Wow.
And hey, you! Yes, YOU. If you are having a rotten time with ANYthing ... whether you are beating yourself up for whatever error JESUS ALREADY DIED FOR and if you sometimes find yourself throwing a personal and negative 'roast' with a slew of your own "not *whatever* enough" ... I just want to remind you of something - this one, glorious thing ...
I just know you get it. And I'd love for you to share about the times your soul has been able to utter those two beautiful, beautiful words ...
This is Kara Capps. She is a photographer who takes extraordinary shots of other people and places. She is currently celebrating her sixth year of sobriety in this photo (it's now TWELVE!).
Praise the Lord!